KoF: Iori's Deli
by Sonata-Time-Nocturne-Flare-Aoi
Summary: Complete! Sequel to Kyo's Ice Cream Shoppe. Iori opens a deli. Will he have better luck earning money in his own shoppe then he did at Kyo's? It's going to be one long day for him after he hires an odd group of workers. Rated T for language and violence.
1. Iori, Goenitz, Billy, and Yamazaki

**Iori's Deli**

**By**: Master Jin Sonata

**Genre**: Humor

**Written**: May 2007

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**Authors note**: After the success of Kyo's Ice-Cream Shoppe, I've deciding to pull out a sequel I had in mind for quite some time now!

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**Disclaimer**: I do not own SNK, or Iori's new store.

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It was a warm evening in the streets of South Town. Just a few buildings from Geese Tower stood a man in front of a smaller building he was working to complete.

"**Stupid Kyo and his damn Ice-Cream Shoppe. I'll show him who's a better business manager!"**

Iori was putting the finishing touches outside of his new store chain he as going to open the next day. After failing to receive any sufficient funds when he worked at Kyo's Ice Cream Shoppe (Which he destroyed a week ago), Iori decides to start his own business and make some big cash his own way.

"**There. 'Iori's Deli'. Doesn't have a bad ring to it. Now all I need is a couple of chumps to work for me at minimal pay and I'll be good to go,"** Iori said, arms crossed, gazing at his completed shoppe.

"**Workers…you say?"** said a menacing voice from behind Iori.

Iori slowly turned around. He was face-to-face with three other people: Goenitz, Billy Kane, and Yamazaki. He stood glaring at the three for some time. He could see hiring Goenitz and Billy, but Yamazaki would be out of the question.

"**Um…you two are hired…but you aren't,"** Iori said, pointing to Yamazaki.

"**Oh really?"** Yamazaki said with his trademark psycho-looking grin. At the speed of light, Yamazaki whips out his hand from his pocket, and smacks Iori clear in the face, sending Iori sliding down the street, where he then crashes into a fire hydrant. Yamazaki walks up to Iori and picks him up by his hair. **"Am I hired now, punk?"**

"**I'll see you at 7:00 on the morning,"** Iori said, half dazed. Yamazaki dropped him onto the ground and left the scene with satisfaction.

"**Damn, I don't want that loon working in my deli! I know…maybe I'll just have him be security for a while…" **Iori said, slowly getting off the ground and making his way home for the night.

**Next Chapter: Whip, Xiangfei, Benimaru, and Joe**

**What do you think so far? Please review!!!**


	2. Whip, Xiangfei, Benimaru, and Joe

**Author's note**: Sorry about the delay in getting the first official chapter up, but here it is!

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**Chapter 1**

Iori walks down the street early the next morning, humming to himself as he approached the corner where his Deli was. When he arrived, Goenitz and Billy were already waiting outside the front door.

**"Good, you two are on time,"** Iori said. He looked around for the third person of his staff. **"Where's Yamazaki?"**

**"He said he'd be in a little later, something about getting some exotic meat for the deli's inventory,"** Billy said, shrugging.

**"Whatever, let's get everything setup,"** Iori said, reaching into his pocket to get his keys.

They were gone.

**"Dammit! Where are my keys?!"** Iori said, as he frantically searched throughout his body. **"That damn Yamazaki must have knocked them out of my pocket when he assaulted me yesterday evening!"**

**"So how do you propose we get in?"** Goenitz asks. **"Want me to blow down the front door with my wind powers."**

**"I could break a window with my staff,"** Billy suggests, whipping it out in the process.

**"If you even dare to break anything in my deli, you'll be paying for it!"** Iori warns the two. Goenitz and Billy both turn and look at each other.

**"Okay,"** they say simultaneously, turning toward the building as they began busting up the main entrance with their abilities.

Iori just stood there with a 'what the hell' look on his face.

**Later…**

Indeed the three were able to get into the building, but they wound up spending two hours to repair the damages with Iori's leftover funds.

**"I hope you two are happy. I just made a profit of -$200 before the deli is even open,"** Iori growls at the two.

Finally they were finished, and were ready to open the deli to the public. Iori takes them inside toward the back and shows them their uniforms. They were red aprons with wicked black and white decors, a sort of nod toward Iori's own clothing style.

**"Here, you'll be wearing these while you work. And don't worry; you won't have to wear any fruity little hats like I did at Kyo's place,"** Iori commented.

Both men slip on their uniforms and report to the main counter.

**"So what exactly are you selling here?"** Billy inquires, looking through the display case at all of the products.

**"Cheeses, jerky, sandwiches, real food for real men, not no girly ice cream cones at 'you know who's',"** Iori responded.

The front doors then slam open, breaking another window in the process as it swooped around.

**"AND HORSE MEAT!"** Yamazaki yells as he drags in a live thoroughbred horse from outside.

**"What the hell, Yamazaki?! I just fixed that window! And what the hell is that horse doing here?"** Iori yells at Yamazaki.

**"I'm going to slaughter it, slice it into horse-jerky, and sell it!"** Yamazaki said, licking his lips.

**"Hey, no! You are not going to fillet a live horse in this sho---"** Iori begins to argue, but is suddenly met in the face again by Yamazaki's lightning fast smack-attack, sending Iori crashing into the back room. He stumbles back out to the front moments later with a black eye. **"Do what you will,"** Iori corrects himself toYamazaki. Yamazaki laughs manically and proceeds to haul the horse to the back, the horse giving the group an 'Aw crap' expression as it passed them.

Iori turns to Goenitz and Billy. **"Billy, you make the products, and Goenitz, you watch the register. I'm going to give Yamazaki his assignment…after I find some body armor…"**

**Minutes Later**

It was 9:00 am, and time to open the doors to the public. Goenitz and Billy were busy manning their stations, while Yamazaki sat at the door acting as security to keep away annoying customers.

It wasn't long before their first costumer entered the shoppe. It was Whip.

Whip, dressed up nicely in her brown Ikari uniform, stepped into the deli and headed to the main counter.

**"Welcome to Iori's Deli. How may we serve you?"** Goenitz said in a professional matter.

**"Do you guys sell bagels?"** Whip asks.

**"This is a deli, ma'am, not no damn bakery,"** Billy responds.

**"Oh, I see. Then I'll just have turkey sandwich then, to go,"** Whip said, laying some money on the counter as Billy prepared her order.

Suddenly out of nowhere, Yamazaki was next to Whip, staring at something on her.

**"Um…can I help you?"** Whip asks, raising an eyebrow.

**"Nice bullwhip you got there. Mind if you use it on me?"** Yamazaki asks eagerly.

**"Creep!"** Whip says as she takes her weapon, cracks it across Yamazaki's face, sending him spinning around several times before falling to the floor. Whip then takes her order and leaves the deli hastily.

**"What's going on out here?"** Iori says, stepping forth from the back room.

**"Psycho-Yamazaki here scared away our first customer,"** Billy responded.

**"Did she at least pay for something?"** Iori asks.

**"Yeah, five bucks for a turkey sandwich,"** Goenitz said.

**"Five bucks? Jack it up to ten dollars,"** Iori said, before heading back into his office.

The next costumer was Xiangfei. She runs into the shoppe and presses her face against the display case, almost drooling at all of the food.

**"Hey! Order something or get out!"** Yamazaki said from across the deli.

**"Okay okay! Sheesh, some people! Okay, uh…I'll take one of everything, for here,"** Xiangfei said to Goenitz at the register.

Billy prepared as fast as he could one of every item the deli sold. When he was done, he had to have Goenitz to help him carry the food over to a table that Xiangfei sat at in the eating area.

In no time flat, Xiangfei was scarfing down all of the food in less than five minutes. Afterwards, she looked fat and round like an Oompa Loompa. She returned to the register to pay for her meal.

**"That'll be $800,"** Goenitz responded.

Iori almost teleported to the front of the register when he heard the three-figure amount to be paid.

**"Um, lets see…"** Xiangfei says, trying to find her wallet. After she did, she opened it up, and pulled out a quarter and set it on the counter. **"Heheh, oops, looks like I'm kinda short…"** she said, laughing nervously.

Iori was about to turn beet-red from anger after finding out the customer barely had any money to pay for her order.

**"YAMAZAKI!!!"** Iori yells.

Instantaneously, Yamazaki grabs Xiangfei and tosses out of the deli through another window.

**"Dammit Yamazaki!!!"** Iori yelled at him. **"Just great, now we're deeper debt…"**

Iori was about to stomp back toward his office when Benimaru struts into the deli, wearing a leopard skin top.

**"Hello, got any deals for a beautiful guy like me?"** Benimaru said, striking a pose like a Victoria Secret model.

**"Yamazaki!!! Get this fruity bastard out of my deli!!!"** Iori demanded. Yamazaki proceeded to do the exact same thing he did to Xiangfei, only through another window. Almost all of the windows in Iori's deli were broken.

The last one to show up for the morning rush was Joe. He steps up to the counter and orders five pounds of ham.

**"That'll be $80,"** Goenitz said.

**"What?! 80 bucks?! Well here's what I have to say about your prices,"** Joe said, turning his back to them and pulling his pants down, mooning them.

Iori peeked his head around the corning when he heard the complaining. Before he could tell Yamazaki to remove Joe from the premises, Yamazaki already took action.

**"HEY, HORSE!"** Yamazaki yells toward the back room. Seconds later, Yamazaki's horse trots up toward the front of the shoppe where Joe is still mooning the staff, turns around, and kicks Joe out of the building with it hind legs. This time, no additional damage was done to the deli.

Iori raised in eyebrow.

**"That was the only decent thing I liked about this morning so far,"** Iori grumbles, proceeding to go repair the windows again before the noon hour.

**Next Chapter: Kyo and Shingo Visit**

_**Please review!**_


	3. Kyo and Shingo Visit

**Author's note**: Thank you everyone for the reviews! Onward!

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**Chapter 2**

It was the noon hour.

Iori, Billy, and Goenitz were all back outside the front of the deli repairing the damages created by Yamazaki. Yamazaki wasn't there at the moment, for he was out running some errands.

"**What could Yamazaki be doing now?"** Billy asked no one in particular while repairing one of the broken windows.

"**He mentioned something about buying more exotic meats at the international market,"** Goenitz said while hammering some nails into a wood frame.

"**Well, the longer he takes, the better,"** Iori grumbles as he finished patching up some gaping holes on the deli's outer wall.

Seconds later, two guys were approaching Iori's deli.

It was Kyo and Shingo.

"**Ugh, Shingo! Will you let go of my leg already?!?!"** Kyo grunted as he tried to shake off Shingo, who was latched around Kyo's leg.

"**Never, Kyo-san! I will always be by your side!"** Shingo insisted, not letting go.

The two stop in front of Iori. Iori looked at them and chuckled.

"**What's the matter, Kyo? Can't be without your boyfriend?"** Iori joked with a wry grin.

"**Shut-up, Yagami,"** Kyo grumbled, turning to Billy. **"Say, can I borrow your staff?"**

"**Huh? Whatever,"** Billy said, still minding his work as he handed Kyo his staff.

Kyo stuck the staff between him and Shingo, and used it to pry his student off of his leg.

"**So, Iori, I see you have your own shoppe now,"** Kyo said, crossing his arms as he looked at the building.

"**Yeah, and we're raking in much more money then you'll ever make in your lifetime,"** Iori lied, trying to sound macho.

"**That's not what I've heard. Benimaru told me that you guys are in debt when he briefly visited your store," **Kyo countered.

"**How the hell did that damn fruit find out?"** Iori demanded.

"**Aha! I knew you were lying! Your store is faring worse than when my Ice-Cream Shoppe was in business! Admit it!"** Kyo said.

"**Never! Now get off of my property before I turn you into smoked…"** Iori began to threaten Kyo, but was cut off when Yamazaki entered the scene.

"**SNAKE! WHO WANTS FRESH GROUND COBRA?"** Yamazaki announced as he appeared behind the ground holding a huge-ass South American snake over his shoulder.

"**Ew…"** Goenitz commented.

"**Snake? SNAAAAAKE! RUN KYO!"** Shingo shouted in fear, as he turned and began to run away from Yamazaki, only to trip and fall over Iori, sending them both crashing through a window that was just repaired.

Iori kicks Shingo off of him and gets up, ready to kick his ass.

"**YOU LITTLE PUNK!"** Iori shouted as he began to chase Shingo down the street.

Kyo, Yamazaki, Billy, and Goenitz just stood there and watched Iori pummel the crap out of Shingo all the way down the street.

"**Aren't you going to help your student?"** Goenitz asked Kyo.

"**Nah. I'll just treat this moment s a test to whether he can survive a beating from his teacher's rival,"** Kyo said with delight. **"I've been trying to get him away from me for the longest anyway."**

**Next Chapter: K9999, K', Krizalid, and Zero**

_**Please review!**_


	4. K9999, K’, Krizalid, and Zero

**Chapter 3**

After Kyo and Shingo had left, Iori and the rest of the crew went back into the deli and got back to work.

**"Okay, its 1:00 p.m. We have four hours to make some big bucks before closing for the evening. Now sell something!!!"** Iori commanded to the other workers before retiring to his office.

At that moment, four scary looking men entered the building, all of them wearing black clothing, and approached the main counter. Yamazaki didn't feel it was necessary to try to stop this group of customers.

**"Greetings. I am Zero, and these are my cohorts: K', K9999, and Krizalid. We are searching for a company who will cater for our organization. We are willing to pay a huge amount of cash if this deli is worthy,"** Zero said to Billy and Goenitz.

**"How much are you willing to shovel out to us?"** Billy questioned.

Zero opened up his jacket, revealing a boat-load of cash that totaled over 100,000 dollars.

As if it were a Sixth Sense, Iori rushed to the front of the deli and gazed at the money the man was offering. And without hesitation, Iori spoke up.

**"We will take your cash…I mean…your job offer,"** Iori said in a scheming tone.

**"Very well. However, we must first test out some of your food,"** Zero added.

**"Um…whatever,"** Iori said, shrugging his shoulders.

**"Good. Now let's see how well your company takes orders,"** Zero said, the other three men walking up beside him.

**"I'll take a salami and roast beef sandwich with a pinch of cilantro, cooked under low heat and brushed with Mediterranean butter that's been frozen and cured with apples and folic acid,"** Zero ordered.

**"I'll take the fourteen-cheese fondue with a few seventeen-grain breadsticks, quartered into one-fourth pieces, sprinkled with garlic and tomato bisque and rutabaga extract,"** K' said.

**"Give me a forty-alarm chili made from roasted pinto beans and mixed with red vinegar and onion oil, and pour it in a two-day old bagel and top it with cold corn chowder from Rugal's restaurant down the street,"** K9999 demanded.

**"Just make mine a delicious low-fat cheese-cake,"** Krizalid responded.

All the guys, including Yamazaki, held their mouths open in shock at the outstanding order placed by these four customers.

**"Oh, and hurry it up, we are also evaluating your swiftness in completing this order,"** Zero said, as he and the other three guys went and sat at different tables around the deli.

**"Ah hell…did anyone write all of this down?"** Iori inquired.

All three guys shook their heads in a 'No' gesture.

**"Damn…"** Iori said. **"Let's just try to make what we can from memory. Each of us will serve a different person,"** Iori sighed as he and the others got to work making the asinine orders.

**Twenty Minutes Later**

Iori and the other workers had finally put together what they thought were the correct orders for each of the four customers.

**Iori and Zero**

**"Here's your order,"** Iori said, flopping the plate in front of Zero.

**"What the hell is this?"** Zero complained. **"I ordered a salami sandwich, not a pinto bean sandwich! Take it back and get it right!"**

Iori took the plate and left the table grumbling to himself.

**Goenitz and K'**

**"I hope this is correct,"** Goenitz said, placing the cheese dish in front of K'.

**"Hey, this is corn chowder, not cheese fondue! Go and fix it!"** K' said.

**"Darn…"** Goenitz sighed as he removed the bowl from the table.

**Yamazaki and K9999**

**"Here's your slop,"** Yamazaki said to K9999, slapping the bowl of food in front of K9999.

**"No, dammit, try it again! I didn't order a two-day old cilantro and oil soup!"** K9999 shot back.

**"Horse-shit!"** Yamazaki growled as he snagged the bowl and left the table.

**Billy and Krizalid**

Krizalid was eating his cake that Billy had brought to him.

**"Yuck! This is low-fat cheesecake alright, but it tastes horrible!"** Krizalid said, gagging on his desert.

**"Bloody hell, man! I don't even think a thing such as a delicious low-fat cheesecake even exists!"** Billy said, taking the cake away.

**Another Twenty Minutes Later…**

After several more trials and errors, the deli team finally managed to get the orders correct to some extent.

After they had eaten, Zero his other three cohorts were at the main counter with their decision.

**"Well, after a few errors in the orders, we did manage to get what we want, and it isn't half-bad. Let me present to you a contract and the 100,000 dollar advance,"** Zero said, pulling said items out of his coat.

Large dollar signs rung up in Iori's eyes as he stared bedazzled at the money he was about to receive.

Unbeknownst to anyone, one of Yamazaki's snakes he had bought earlier in the day slithered out of the back storage room and into the front of the deli.

**"Now if you would just sign here on the dotted li-----YEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWCCCCCCHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!"**

Everyone in the deli stopped and stared at Zero at his sudden outburst and saw that the snake had bit Zero in the crotch.

**Minutes Later**

After chewing Iori out and threatening to sue him for what just happened, Zero and his cohorts stormed out of the deli without the contract being signed.

**"No! Wait! Come back! NOOOOOOOO!!!!!"** Iori whined as he sunk to his knees and began crying in frustration.

It was only few hours before closing time, and Iori was going to need a miracle at this point to rake in some dough.

**Final Chapter: Seth and Leona, coming soon!**

_**Please review!**_


	5. Seth and Leona

**Final Chapter**

It was late afternoon, and Iori was still losing money. He had lost potential cash from constant store repairs, and had lost out on a contract with a rich syndicate. At this point, Iori would have to make enough money to at least get out of debt.

"**Oh cheer up, Iori, we'll pull in some money somehow,"** Billy said, trying to comfort Iori, who was sitting in his office in a slump

"**Yeah! I bet we can make even more money with the new stock of exotic meat I just imported,"** Yamazaki said with a grin.

"**It's your own damn fault that we lost the last opportunity to work for Zero and his agents,"** Iori shot back to Yamazaki, before interrupting himself. **"Wait, did you just say you imported even more meat?"** Iori said, raising an eyebrow.

"**You got it!"** Yamazaki said, walking outside Iori's office. **"Hey! Animals! Get in here!"**

Iori immediately sat up in his chair when the entire building began to rumble.

"**What the?!?!?"** Iori said, mouth hanging open as he witnessed dozens of tropical animals stampede into his office and surround Yamazaki.

"**See? All of these guys will make great ground meats!"** Yamazaki said.

"**Yamazaki! Get these damn animals out of my office! And while you're at it, take them all back!!!"** Iori warned Yamazaki.

Just then, Goenitz peeked into Iori's office.

"**We've got visitors,"** Goenitz said to Iori.

"**Well? Who are they? Are they customers or what?!"** Iori inquired.

"**It' the city Health Inspectors,"** Goenitz responded.

"**WHAT??!?"** Iori shouted, falling over in his chair in the process. **"We've got to get these animals out of this building before they notice! Billy, Goenitz, keep them occupied while Yamazaki and I remove these atrocious animals!"** Iori commanded.

Everyone nodded and got started on doing what they were ordered to do.

**Front Of The Deli**

Billy and Goenitz went out to the front of the deli, where the Health Inspectors waited. Both officials wore grey trench coats with their badges, and had clipboards full of notes.

"**Sorry about the wait,"** Goenitz apologized to the visitors.

"**Indeed,"** said one of the officials. **"I am Seth, and this is my partner, Leona. We have orders to inspect every new establishment that opens in South Town to see if it is up to standards in cleanliness and product quality," **Seth explained.

"**Aw man, that's right…my other boss Geese Howard was the one who made this rule some time ago,"** Billy recalled.

"**Let's just hope the guys in the back have things under control while we stall these folks,"** Goenitz responded.

"**Ahem,"** Leona interrupted**. "Let's begin tasting with your products here up front in the cooler."**

**Back Of The Deli**

"**AAAAHHHH! THIS IS BULL!!!"** Iori screams out to Yamazaki.

"**What? That I have to throw out all of my exotic animals?!"** Yamazaki responded.

"**NO!!! I MEAN LITERALLY! THERE'S A LIVE BULL THAT WON'T LET ME LEAVE THIS CORNER!!!"** Iori shouted as an angry Italian bull had Iori pinned in the corner of the building.

"**Well, you are wearing red…"** Yamazaki added.

"**NO SHIT, SHERLOCK!!!"** Iori shot back. **"NOW HELP ME!!!"**

"**Fine,"** Yamazaki mumbled, pulling out a whip and cracking it in the air, causing all of the animals to start running out of the building through the back door, including the bull that was giving Iori trouble.

"**That's all of them…I think**" Yamazaki stated.

"**What do you mean 'you think'?"** Iori questioned, raising an eyebrow.

**Front Of The Deli**

Back out front, Seth and Leona had just finished sampling some of the deli's food.

"**Hmm…the food here is not bad. You pass,"** Seth said, checking something off on his clipboard.

"**Now for the last part of the inspection: We need to check the quality of the inventory in the back storage to see if its sanitary," **Leona said.

Both Billy and Goenitz looked at each other.

"**Is… that a problem?"** Seth said to the two.

"**No-no, it's quite alright. C'mon back!"** Billy lied as he showed the Food Inspectors the way to the back of the deli.

**Back Of The Deli**

"**HORSE-SHIT!!!"**

"**What is it now?!"** Yamazaki said.

"**I STEPPED IN SOME, WHAT ELSE?!?!"** Iori yelled to Yamazaki.

Billy and Goenitz then run to the back where they are.

"**The Food Inspectors are on their way to the back right now!"** Billy said to Iori.

"**Damn, and the place is a dump! There are anime feces all over and it smells like a barn in here!"** Iori commented. **"If they see this mess, we'll be shut down for sure!"**

"**You got that right!"** said a voice from behind them.

Everyone turned around to see Seth and Leona already there with them.

"**This area of the deli is a disgrace! I have never seen such untidy conditions in all my years of inspecting! We're going to have to shut you down!"** Seth said sternly to everyone.

"**Dammit…"** Iori mumbled under his breathe, pounding his fist against the wall at the same time, hard enough to bash a hole into it.

"**Hey, what's that?"** Goenitz said, pointing to the hole.

Out of the hole Iori just made, the same giant snake Yamazaki bought earlier shot out of it, and began attacking Seth and Leona.

"**AHH!!! SNAKES! GET THEM OFF!"** Leona yells as she and Seth ran around the building in a panic trying to shake the snake off of them. When that failed, both inspectors eventually ran out of the deli, screaming down the street.

"**Well…that takes care of them…"** Billy said.

"**Yeah, but they'll be back soon to shut us down anyways,"** Iori grumbled, leaning against the hole he just made and sighing.

Suddenly, there was a series of crumbling noises. Seconds later, the entire building began shaking.

"**What's going on?"** Billy asks, looking around to see everything around then starting to give away.

"**IT'S GONNA COLLAPSE!!!"** Yamazaki shouted. **"RUN!!!"**

"**YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL ME TWICE!"** Iori quickly responded.

All four men make a break toward the exit. Once outside of the building, they witnessed the entire deli crumble to the ground in a heaping pile of rubble.

The deli was gone for good.

"**How the hell did that happen?!"** Billy asked, standing aghast to what just happened.

"**That building must have been really old. Also, the countless damages inflicted upon it, and Iori bashing his fist against the wall must have finally made the building give-away,"** Goenitz speculated.

"**Well, what now?!" **Yamazaki said to Iori.

Iori walked passed them and made his way down the street, a very angry and frustrated look on his face.

"**Gonna take my frustration out on Kyo. That'll make me feel better,"** Iori said, walking into the sunset.

**The End!**

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**How was this installment? Please review!**

Check out part 3 of this series: **Kyo and Iori's Restaurant**, already up!


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